I like to live free.  Let me rephrase that, I love to live free.  Maybe it comes from when I was in the service, maybe being in the service was a big part of it, I don’t know, its a bit ironic because you lose alot of your freedoms when you do enlist.  Perhaps that was a big part of me getting out.  Unlike a lot of my friends who are just now getting out and retiring, I knew there was no way I could stay in.

My life has been a bit different, not better, just different.  Did I really ask for this life, I don’t know, I was just following my heart, the things that I wanted.  Ultimately, they led me to work a contract in Kuwait in 2009 and that is where this song was written.  I had a little apartment about 40 minutes from the base and it was great because it was mine.  I had a little tv in there and a couch and a very cheap 3/4 size classical guitar which I think was even missing a string.  I wrote quite a few songs on that guitar, and Craze was one of them.

I wanted to tell people that my lifestyle is not really something that I had planned.  Truth is, it sort of comes from not having plans, and you may be like me.  If you are, don’t worry, just roll with it, just like everyone, but you will take some heat for it in a few circles.  “Just what makes you think this is exactly where I knew id be, theres no possible way I could even have guessed at that.”  My dad, never gave me any heat for it, and actually really encouraged it in many ways.  He was one of my biggest champions and he made me feel like there was nothing wrong with me because my life was different.

Had I done it “their” way maybe I don’t see as many places, or experience as many things?  This song is trying to tell those who don’t like my lifestyle to just sort of back off a little.  What does me living free do to you, how does it affect you at all?  Thats why I like that line, “I know its hard to believe but I really like living free, so why cant you live with that.”  But its so much more than that, its a very spiritual way of living.  Jesus teaches me, to not worry, to not conform to the world, to trust God, to not love money, that the flesh counts for nothing, don’t worry about what you will eat or what you will wear, all of these things are truth to me, but there is another truth that alot of people just cant seem to understand, that I don’t have control over anything.  In my life I have seen this play out more times than not, and it seems more than probable that life itself is in control, no matter how special we all think our lives are, we are hear one minute and gone the next, maybe if more of us understood that we dont have control things would be a bit more peaceful?  Instead we blame each other all the time and that blame causes bitterness, and bitterness leads to rage… without blame, their is no rage.

Whether you did it the “right” way or not, you still have to find content, you still have to navigate through the craziness of life.  So many seasons in my life, and I mean many, I have not known which direction I will go.  I haven’t lived in one place for more than 3 years since I left the service.  More often than not I stay in a place less than a year and move on.  I didn’t ask for this, it has just become me, and I cant apologize to anyone for it because it is the life that God has for me.  If you believe that a child is influenced greatly by their environment growing up, then it would make total sense why I would be this way.  I mean I spent the first 5 years of my life in Saudi Arabia and traveling alot.  We never stayed in the same house for very long, even just within my town growing up we moved quite a bit.  By the time I was 17 and getting ready to graduate high school I was ready to go… and honestly, I haven’t really looked back.  I am who I am just as you are who you are.  I don’t blame you for your life so don’t blame me for mine… I guess thats the point of this song.  This is a demo, I cant wait to hear how this song gets produced… Its a groovy song musically, and I think the right rhythm section will really bring it out.

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Yes I have heard that I should have my head examined
And you know I’ve been told my way is not the right way
And I know I don’t have all the answers but I trust in love
stumble along the way
So you don’t have to ask if I’m okay, I’m just living day to day
in this crazy crazy place
you don’t have to ask if I’m okay I’m just trying to feel my way
through this crazy crazy craze
I cant stay plugged in very long while this world tries to drain me
but I cant always see the trap that sets ahead
And I know its hard to believe but I really like living free
so why cant you live with that
Just what makes you think this is exactly where I knew id be
theres no possible way I could even have guessed at that
so many things change and time seems to change right along with me
we all have to live with that